University for Men!!!!!
 

Got this email and just found it... somehow in my junk mail folder but hey... its good and soooooooooo true!!!!

Two-Day Course For Men

EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!

OPEN TO MEN ONLY - ALL ARE WELCOME

Note: Due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each
course will accept a maximum of eight participants. The
course covers two days, and topics covered in this course
include:

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step-by-step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS - DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Round table discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE - DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK
OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning
the house upside down while screaming - Open forum

DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS - DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE
BIN?
Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH - BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR
HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL
PARKS?
Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS - BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER
AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO
BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT
Learning how to live with being wrong all the time

That is so UGLY! I can't believe you posted that! Wait, yes I can! :toofunny

This must be the intermediate class as last year's beginners class ended with graduation at the dumpster as all had finished the course by carrying out the trash. :happydance:toofunny :queen

That's UGLY two! I mean 2.

Its one of my masterpieces!!!!!!!! NOT! LOL:happydance:happydance

And you didn't say anthing about the toilet seat.....I'm sho nuff proud of ya....:toofunny:happydance

:queen

Did I do ya good?? :) I iz so happy!!! :happydance:happydance

I'm thinking about turning yall in to admin! UGLY stuff, really UGLY! :scripture

:reaction:drama:nobodycares:toofunny

LOL!!!!

See there? Yall have offended all of those sensitive men out there and they won't even reply!

Oh well! LOL

I think they will realize they are wrong and........ GET OVER IT ... eventually!

:shhh:stirpot

Are you kidding? I live in Bubba country....
You can't offend them unless you make fun of their truck or dawg.:toofunny

Amen sistah! :happydance

:queen

I thought both of those were in that list! Everything else was! :ouch

Nah ya cain't hardly teach Bubba's nothin in school. And they don't go for higher education.

tooo funny!!

i don't get it

that's cause your a man.......:happydance:toofunny:happydance:toofunny

:queen

That is funny because I do most of the dishes/Always am the one to change the toilet paper roll/ do most of the recycling including milk cartons but I do throw my laundry around, (and so does my wife) and I don't have a remote to the TV.

Hey- I even put the lid down every time!

I guess I'm in touch with my feminine side lol

Hubby brought flowers once (so out of character). I asked immediately ...what have you bought ? what have you done? :D

I guess I am spoiled... mine.. puts the toilet paper on (even the right way Dora!!!) he does dishes he cleans he puts the seat down he brings me flowers almost every time he comes home from work (every 2 weeks normally) he well... this list is so not him thus I can post it and go.... HAHAHAHA :)

Sounds like you have him trained really well :toofunny

Good thing is I didnt have to do none of the training! He came this way LOL... Nah... he has worked away ever since he got out of the army... he is oilfield... lives in a trailer with 8 other men 2 weeks a month and he is the boss therefore... if it aint clean... its his fault... so work trained him well! :) I just reap the benefits!

***courses For Woman***
 

In the interest of fairness!

CLASSES FOR WOMEN AT THE LOCAL LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS. SIGN-UP BELOW.

*Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants only.

Topic 1 - How to fill up gas tanks within 2 hours.
Step by step, with slide presentation.

Topic 2 - The toilet paper roll: Why do they have to have pictures of bunny rabbits on them?
Round table discussion.

Topic 3 - The modern socio-economic aesthetics of being able be happy with the things you have-why redecorating is unnecessary.
Group discussion.

Topic 4 - Fundamental benefits of not changing your perfectly clean clothes several times a day.
Pictures and explanatory graphics.

Topic 5 - The after-dinner dishes and cutlery : Why dishwashers are the saviour of womenkind.
Examples on video.

Topic 6 - How to use a remote control and programme a VCR.
Helpline support and support groups.

Topic 7 - Learning how to find things, starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while screaming.
Open Forum.

Topic 8 - Physical fitness: How to throw a tennis ball properly.
Graphics and group exercises.

Topic 9 - Map reading 101.
Group workshop.

Topic 10 - Parallel parking ; The mystery revealed.
Driving simulation.

Topic 11 - Learning to live: Why childbirth is really really icky!.
Online class and role-playing.

Topic 12 - How to walk into a shop and buy the first thing that you see.
Time and energy saving tips.
**Men 4 star recommended course!**

Topic 13 - How to limit phone calls to a short duration.
Group therapy.

Topic 14 - What are the point of flowers? They grow for free in the wild!
Case studies and video references.

Topic 15 - Cosmetic salesmen tactics - Jojoba Oil and Aloe Vera do very little to your hair, but do a lot to your wallet.

Topic 16 - (Advanced class) - "The Offside rule: revealed"

Classes commence at 8pm, followed by a relaxed group "Whine" about your man to anyone who's interested.

The following forms of payment are accepted for the course; Boyfriend's cash, fiance's cheque, husband's credit card.

The course is cheaper than the average pair of Gucci shoes.

Re: # 8. I can throw a softball and knock you out! Tennis is for sissies.......:happydance

:queen

Yea Yea Yea :stirpot :toofunny

Topic # 1. I don't do gas.
Topic # 2. For a surprise.
Topic # 3. Re-decorating is done so that men who never pay attention, will trip over something even in the daytime.
Topic # 4. Because unlike men we realize when we perspire we don't really want to offend someone.
Topic # 5. Before dishwashers there were husbands and kids.
Topic # 6. We don't have time to push buttons on remotes instead we push buttons on men. We don't need to program a VCR we will watch almost anything.
Topic # 7. We do not lose things so therefore we don't have to look for things. Besides we don't scream we merely talk louder to be heard over sport shows on the TV.
Topic # 8. See my other post on # 8.
Topic # 9. Maps are for sissies and men. WE know how to ask for directions.
Topic # 10. Paralell parking was invented by men driving Model T's.
Topic # 11. Childbirth is icky and men are afraid it is contagious.
Topic # 12. We would if men knew what to put there when we walk in the door.
Topic # 13. We save money and energy by not having to call more than one person a day.
Topic # 14. If we don't receive flowers you could be living in the wild.
Topic # 15. That is why money was invented.
Topic # 16. Off sides is when you sit in your recliner with the remote and don't realize your wife has rearranged the furniture and you are off to the side.

:happydance:toofunny:happydance:toofunny

:queen

none of this applies in my home.

My "suggested" courses for women:

#1: Quality electronics cost money!
That $500 lens on the new Canon 40D SLR really is better that that cheapo $300 Sony.

#2: Yes, you WILL notice a difference between a 3 megabit DSL line and one that is 1.5.

#3: Large dogs have personality too!

I agree with #3. I hate ankle biters. :D