Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

So how would you counsel a couple in your church who decided to engage in polygamy or polyamory and confessed it to you in a private manner. Would you have to condone it or would you advise against such practice within the marriage.

This is just the wierdest thing I've ever heard of...can't believe I'm reading this is acceptable to so many.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

Yes, and my wife agrees Polygamy is not a sin before God. Just a sin before her with the penalty of castration.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

Wonderful post and I agree with everything except the paragraph in quotes above.... I don't believe Pauls instruction to the Bishops to have one wife had anything to do with elevating the woman... as Paul clarifies why he wishes for them to have only one wife was in order to better serve the church.... we find his reference that those who are married cannot give as much attention to the church...... therefore he recommends that they do NOT MARRY but if they must to only marry ONE WIFE and any more than that would be too much of a distraction from the flock of God

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

Well Dora...

That is a strange question.

I'd advise against it. Because it's a recipe for someone to get hurt.

It seems attractive to couples who feel like "something is missing" in the bedroom. Normally these couples are in their mid 30's and entering a sort of mid-life crisis. They're adventurous and have sexual curiosities or needs not being met. On average they've been married between 7 to 12 years. They know each other and are virtually best friends along with being lovers. Most likely they also have children. Yes, while they are a Christian couple, they try to experiment by spicing things up with fantasy, erotica, etc...and then they start whispering the "what ifs". They love each other, they don't plan to leave one another, they just want to know about....what it's like to have a new flavor. So they read websites where couples meet other individuals or couples and they laugh about it. At first they feign disbelief, "Do people really do this?" They giggle at the pictures. And the thought of it electrifies them when they're alone together... they enjoy "talking" about it. Suddenly fantasy shifts into "possibility"...and they arrange to meet someone or another couple. They go out to dinner, they visit a club. They socialize for a couple hours to see if there's chemistry. They find that they have a lot in common...especially in the area of sexual curiosity. Typically one of them wants to try this more than the other...the other is apprehensive but wants the first to be happy and fulfilled. If there is "chemistry" they meet at a hotel....and then they cross the line and taste the forbidden fruit. It fulfilled the lusts of the flesh but something in their gut is sending out WARNING signals. They don't talk the entire drive home accept for a few, "Are you ok?"s...and a couple, "Yes. I'm ok. Just tired."s. They don't talk about it really. But insecurity begins to develop. While the husband is at work he can't concentrate on his job...his heart is racing. His hands are shaking. He wonders, "Is she home?" If she's working he wonders, "Is she still in the office?" Then he begins to wonder, if not...who's she with? He calls her office phone and gets the voice mail. He's heart leaps into his throat. Where is she? He calls her cell phone and it goes directly to voice mail. He frantically calls a friend of the family and nervously asks that if they hear from her they have her call him. He can't focus, he feels dizzy. He takes the rest of the day off and goes home to wait for her. She comes in shortly after 5:30pm. She's surprised he's home already, he raises his voice, "Where have you been? I tried to call you at work and there was no answer! I tried to call your cell phone and it went to voice mail. Where were you?!" She looks at him like he's lost his mind, "I was in a regional sales meeting all morning. I forgot to charge my cell phone last night and so it was dead. And I was in conference calls all afternoon with the account managers. Why didn't you leave a message? Don't you trust me?!" He didn't want to say that he was too frantic to leave a message....he feels like he's now loosing control. Emotions are overwhelming his sense of reason...he wants to trust her...in fact...he believes her...but his emotions are out of control. He doesn't want her to go to work again. He remembers how she laughed with a male colleague at an office party and every bone in his body is convinced she's going to have a rendezvous with this man. After all...the man makes far more money, has a degree, is thinner, funny and already has a marriage on the rocks. She might run away...and be with a better man....it's insecurity rearing it's ugly head. Or maybe he's home late from work and when he gets home she's so quite she doesn't speak to him. He doesn't know how to interpret what's wrong so he remains carefully quiet. Once the kids are in bed she walks up to him while he's on the computer, watching tv, or getting ready for bed and she said, "So...is she prettier than I am?" "Who?" He asks, "Rhonda, she's always working late too. I know how pretty she is. Were you with her? Just tell me the truth!" Heated words and arguments ensue. Their sex life is now non-existent. They feel they can't trust each other. They can't concentrate and enjoy one another without insecurity and fear. About a week passes and they go out of their way to re-assure one another that everything is ok. But now they are dealing with the distrust and the hurt of being distrusted. To make matters worse....they're ashamed. They don't feel they can talk to anyone. They don't know how it got out of control. Kids are asking if everything is ok. Short answers, snaps, and cold reassurances don't calm the kids. The kids begin misbehaving at school because of the tension at home. The husband has lost "moral authority" to guide his home and the wife has lost that Christian gentility. He doesn't feel like going to church any more. After all...they've blown it. Now the family is dividing over church attendance. They call in sick and fight that night. The kids are more confused than ever....

Everything is out of control and getting worse. Without much prayer, forgiveness, and counsel they're approaching certain ruin.

Fantasy can be exciting when strictly controlled by imagination....but all to often a fantasy's reality is a living Hell. I'd say such fantasies and/or interests are dangerous because they can provoke one to act upon them. I'd advise a couple with polyamorous fantasies to take a break to pray and fast. Focus on the Word together. Don't talk about the fantasy. Try to allow the fantasy to go away and find different interests...experiment with new things together, strictly with one another. I'd advise much prayer and fasting. And if they needed "spice", I might recommend things that might make a couple blush before condoning any polyamorous experiences. I'd advise that polyamory is playing with fire, and if they still insisted on trying it...I guess I'd have to brace myself to try and help them pick up the pieces of what was left after it had run it's course.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

True. I should have said an interesting social by-product was the elevation of a woman's value in the marriage relationship.

Good call bro.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

in other words "only one wife at a time."

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

Personally I believe it means, "man of one woman". In my opinion I believe this means a man who is married to (and has been married to) only one woman. I think this would disqualify any polygamous or divorced man from serving as a Bishop.

That's my personal opinion.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

God established laws to regulate a man-made practice, but He did not institute polygamy anymore than He instituted slavery. There are lots of laws that regulate the practice of slavery, and how a "master" should treat his slaves, but that doesn't mean slavery is right. And it's most certainly not a reflection of biblical ideals and principles, both OT and NT.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

:blink




:ursofunny

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

lol

I know it sounds funny....but you'd be amazed at how many women are tolerant of the idea of polyamory or polygamy....if not in practice in theory. Most women are very quiet about their husband's sexual indiscretions, especially in religious circles.