Sis, can we get them in bookstores or only through her website?!

Here is another distributor site with a great writeup on this lady.

http://www.landwashdistribution.com/...InHouse200.jpg

On the eve of General Conference I predict that Resolution #4 will not have any effect at all in New Brunswick, unless they vote to make the ministers get rid of their televisions. :Nhl_crash:Nhl_check:Nhl_crash:Nhl_check

May God bless the General Conference to the advancement of the Kingdom of God on the Earth.

NEWSFLASH!!!

General Conference travellers have created huge line ups in airports across the nation. It seems that none of them are willing to look at the screens in the airports, and can't find their boarding gates.

:cowbell

NEWSFLASH!!!!!

Disney World has reported a spike in attendance today. Crowds of super sized men with big hair, pretending not to recognize each other, have descended on the theme park on this Lord's Day.

:grumpy:grumpy:grumpy:grumpy

very sad sense of humor

Personally I don't know of any that have TV's ,I know a few that have "monitors" though.

You don't say !:killinme

Someone who looked UPC was overheard asking a security guard at one airport what those "things" are. In that case they were told that those "things" were monitors, which brought a sigh of relief, and the response, "That's great, we ARE allowed to look at "monitors"!":)

If the UPCI sent out a questionaire asking every licensed minister directly, "Do you have a TV in your house?" and they had to answer the question in order to have their license renewed, what do you think the result would be?

Are there broadcast stations in NB now, or do they still hang a coat hanger on the clothesline to get fuzzy images of the Bruins be whooped by the far superior teams from the North?

:tvhappy










tic but as silly as the notion of all preachers having TV....

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

:ty2

now that was classic!! EXCELLENT!! ...had me Rollin' ! and So true

some of you soured up canadians have no sense of humor - no names mentioned!

You got me all wrong. I definitely believe that there are preachers who don't have TV, and some in the woods who don't have satellite, and that's about the same as not having TV.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

:ty2

That would be an interesting questionnaire:

1. Do you have a TV in your house?

2. If you answered "no" to question 1,

a. Does your wife have a TV in your house?

b. Do you have a room in your house you have designated as a hotel room?

c. Do you consider your garage to be a part of your house?

1. If you answered "no" to question c, do you have a TV in your garage?

d. Have you designated a residence other than where you are living as your "house?"

e. Do you have friends or family members record your favourite shows for you?

f. Do you own DVD sets of your favourite programs?

g. Have you removed your TV set from your house for the purpose of answering this questionnaire?

h. Do you believe that a coat hanger attached to a monitor constitutes a TV?

1. If you answered "no" to question h, do you have a coat hanger attached to your monitor?

i. Is you monitor attached to a cable or satellite broadcast input?

j. Is the signature attached to this questionnaire in your own hand writing?

k. Are you attaching a letter explaining why you are opting out of answering this question?

l. Did your superintendent tell you not to worry about it, so you're not?

:violin

TOO FUNNY! :killinme:killinme:killinme

Let's not go digging too deep there Al!:sos

Another question:

Do you have a TV in a window air conditioner shell so that the TV is physically not IN your home?????? :D

Addition to Questionnaire

m. Do you have a TV in a window air conditioner shell so that the TV is physically not IN your home?

1. If you answered "no" to question m, do you now plan to purchase an air conditioner shell?

Another Addition


o. Do you watch television programming over the Internet?

1. If you answered "yes" to question o, you may still technically answer "no" to question 1.

Additions

P. Do you watch TV while staying in hotels/motels?

Q. Have you ever missed a conference service because you didn't want to miss a TV program that interested you more?

New Question for Conference Attendees

In light of the Division race on and the Yankees playing Tampa Bay on Wednesday night. Will you choose to take in the game rather than attend the music fest?

Very good, with a suggested addendum to question P, and one addition.

P. Do you watch TV while staying in hotels/motels?

1. Do you rent rooms in hotels/motels for the purpose of watching TV?

Q. Have you ever missed a conference service because you didn't want to miss a TV program that interested you more?

R. Have you ever watched television programming on a mobile device while attending conference services?

Another question:

Has the thought ever crossed your mind after a dead Sunday night service, "I missed 'Desperate Housewives' for this?"????? :D

:killinme:killinme:killinme:killinme:killinme

NEWSFLASH!!!!!

Tickets for the division race game between the Yankees and Tampa Bay have sold out. Reports are coming in of a major spike in sales to large men wearing ball caps perched on top of big hair, and to elegantly dressed ladies with lace edged ball caps bobby pinned to hair buns.

In other news. The United Pentecostal Church International has announced the relocation of their annual music fest from the Tampa Conference Center to a VIP room overlooking the Tropicana Field, home of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

:killinme:killinme:killinme

BTW, that would be me standing outside the gate in my BC Lions T-shirt and Cap selling tickets at an inflated price. When you're unemployed you've got to do something to pay for your conference expenses. :)

There is a solution for your problem.

http://a.abcnews.com/podcast/images/...wives_tile.jpg

It's possible that these folks will have a booth at General Conference.

http://headrush.typepad.com/photos/u...television.jpg

Interesting question indeed.

The Ballpark won't have requests for $1000..... but will cost you $25 to get in anyway.

:2cents

NEWSFLASH!!!!

The major brand name retailers have reported that sales of high fashion evening wear have been brisk for the month of September. Of special note is the boom in sales of fashion accessories such as bows, feathers, and ornamental watches. An industry spokesman commented on the usual September trend to an increase in sales of eye catching, but modest dresses. Retailers have observed this phenomena for several years, and some are speculating a connection with the "October returns," a surge in the return of high fashion garments that is unique to the first week of October.

That explains why those outfitted with high fashion are not seen on the dance floor. They can't afford to let perspiration permeate the clothes they will be returning in October. Thanks for the insight breau! :)

Today this thread has topped twenty thousand views, the first thread on AFF to reach that many views.

We have also surpassed our goal of making the Top Five of threads, and now are in the Top Three.

If our regular lurkers would come out of the shadows and start posting, we could make the number one position before Thad's Tab catches up.

Hey Doc,

According to MRSBOOM's timeline, you're coming north in 22 days. How close are you coming to the line that divides our fair land from the wasteland on our western border?

She preceeds me as I am not landing in Manchester, NH until 11/15 (Southwest does not fly to Maine anymore).

I head as far North as Bangor unless given good reasons to change plans. I have not bought tickets yet.

MAJOR!!!! MAJOR!!!! NEWSFLASH!!!!

It will be announced in Tampa that Professor Thomas Fudge has been invited to join the faculty at The Urshan Graduate School. Not only has he been asked, but he has accepted and will be on-site immediately after General Conference.

That's right folks. You heard it here first. We've scooped Thadeous. Saint John's own Tom Fudge will be the chair of the new Historical Studies Department at the Urshan Graduate School.

UPC apologist, WWOD, asked to comment on this surprise appointment, said "I'm surprised," but promised a more extensive comment when he had more time to digest the news.





Definition: AFF Newsflash 1. Fiction 2. Imagination 3. Rumour 4. Fun

Alvin but you left out the other two appointments to UGS -
I heard that it will be announced that TB is going to be head of the Soterology department and MF Blume is new head of Eschalogy.just wondering if anyone else can either confirm or deny this rumor?:hypercoffee

That's the rumour alright, but I haven't been able to confirm it. My understanding was that TB would only be going to the Urshan school if his appointment as regional Field Supervisor for Asia doesn't come through at Conference. I guess that there's a hold up with Blume's appointment. It's not due to his eschatology, but rather that he doesn't have a UPC union card. He's got a choice to either join the brotherhood and have a shave, or to forego his appointment to UGST.